"I have a date." Three words that launched an actual negotiation call that lasted 47 minutes. There's a voice note of this call. It has been shared in at least twelve group chats. The older sister's argument: she's been averaging 3,400 steps a day more than usual and that counts for something.

The date got rescheduled. The going-out tops did not get returned. The sister showed up anyway and borrowed a cardigan from the husband's side of the closet out of spite. The drama has layers.