This is not a joke. Someone actually pulled the data. A fitness blogger posted about the spike in new memberships at three gyms within a two-mile radius of a specific corporate campus. The comment section connected the dots in about four minutes.

Six of the wives from the party are now at the same 6am class. Two of them are married to guys who work on the same floor. The instructor posted a reel about her "January surge" and the comment section is doing actual investigative journalism about the backstory. Her husband's company newsletter ran a piece about "work-life balance goals for the new year." It included a photo from the party. She's in the background of the photo. You already know.