The Barmaid Who Broke The Internet (And Several Peasant Hearts)
Every Renaissance Faire has that one woman who makes grown men forget how to speak in any century. This year’s crop of faire beauties has absolutely shattered the space-time continuum of good judgment. Historians are baffled. Theologians are concerned. The turkey leg vendors have never been busier.
The Noblewoman Who Has Absolutely No Business Looking This Good
She arrived in full Elizabethan regalia and the entire jousting tournament came to a screeching halt. Knights were literally falling off horses — and not because of the lances. If history looked like this, every man would have paid his taxes on time just to get an audience with the queen.
The Tavern Wench Who Made a Grown Knight Cry Into His Ale
There’s serving drinks and then there’s whatever she’s doing, which scientists have yet to fully classify. Her bodice lacing has been studied by structural engineers as a marvel of the modern age. She handed one gentleman a wooden mug and he immediately swore his eternal fealty — which is honestly fair.
