She Has An MBA, A CPA License, And A Derby Reputation That Precedes Her Into Rooms She Hasn’t Entered Yet
The credentials alone — master’s degree, certified public accountant, four years of varsity-level derby competition — would be impressive for three separate people. Collected in one human being with a signature hip check and a genuinely frightening crossover stride, they become something that transcends normal admiration and enters the territory of raw spiritual reverence. We are not worthy. We are simply documenting what we have witnessed.
During Tax Season She Works 80-Hour Weeks. During Derby Season She Also Works 80-Hour Weeks. She Sleeps Occasionally
The scheduling logistics alone are enough to make a normal person lie down on the floor and simply give up. April 15th? Tax deadline AND regional qualifier weekend. These women have navigated the collision of two brutally demanding calendars with a grace that frankly deserves its own TED talk, its own Netflix documentary, and possibly its own national holiday. We are proposing May 3rd. We think that works.
Her Skates Cost More Than Your Laptop And She Has Zero Regrets About This
Custom Bont boots, ceramic bearings, hand-poured wheels at a specific durometer she spent six months calculating — the gear investment of a serious derby player rivals the tech setup of a mid-level gaming streamer, and the women doing both while managing client portfolios have simply decided that excellence in all arenas is non-negotiable. When she says she takes depreciation seriously, she means for the skates AND the quarterly amortization schedule.
The Moment We Realized Accountants Have Been Hiding This From Us The Entire Time
There is a specific moment in every man’s life where a woman completely dismantles a fundamental assumption he has held for decades, and for a shocking number of men that moment apparently involves watching someone in knee socks and a helmet clear an entire pack while also mentally calculating straight-line depreciation. The stereotype was always wrong. These women were always out there. We were simply not paying close enough attention.
