The Lady of the Lake Who Emerged and Immediately Broke Everyone’s Brain
She’s stationed at the decorative lake feature wearing this silver and white gossamer gown that looks like it was woven from moonlight and poor decisions. She holds out a foam Excalibur to anyone who walks by and every single man takes roughly forty-five seconds longer than necessary to reach for it. King Arthur never had these problems. King Arthur was a fool.
The Closing Ceremony Wench Who Sent Everyone Home in a Daze
As the sun set over the faire grounds and the closing trumpets blared, she appeared for the final procession and absolutely every man there suddenly remembered he needed to buy a season pass for next year. People who had been ready to leave since 3pm lingered until full dark. The parking lot emptied slowly, dreamily, with a lot of backward glancing. Same time next year, gentlemen.
